New NAME THIS PADDLE CONTEST

This is John's latest creation. John owns Leather Thorn Paddles, and he is holding another "Name This Paddle" contest. All you have to do is come up with a fun and catchy name for this paddle and send it to John and his judges. If your name is chosen, you will receive this paddle free. Please go to Leather Thorn Contest Page for details on entering. Good luck to everyone.

Joannie

Eeesh! I am in trouble!

Okay, I could have permitted things to go on as they are, but I realized I needed to sit down and have a talk with Lar. My biggest problem these days is health related. As a diabetic, I need to eat right and avoid sugar. I also have an allergy to chocolate. Lately, I've been out of control and I'm not getting a grip on myself. If Lar noticed, he would spank, and the spanks were getting a wee more intense, but it got to the point that I would take the spanking, tell myself I would do better, and the 'better' lasted for a day, maybe two, if I was lucky. I was also sneaking around and hiding the evidence. Lar can't help me stay in control if he doesn't know what I'm doing. After a lot of inward struggle on the why's, I came to the realization that without Lar's help, I'm not going to fight this alone. Most of you know how it is... the more sugar/chocolate you eat the more your body craves it. There is even a drug in chocolate that gives off a false sense of well-being. The key is to go cold turkey on the sugar and drink a ton of water. The first couple of days were bad... I don't know how today is going to be, but I do feel better this morning than I did the last couple of days when I got up. It has been so difficult to stay away from the bad stuff, but I am holding my own. I know I will be good today... Lar knows and announced his plan for getting me back on track.

I confessed all to him Wednesday evening. He was disappointed, of course. He hates it when I do this to myself. He listened, asked questions, and then said he would think about it. Lar is diabolical. Yes, that sweet man who laughs easily, and is normally very easy going has a diabolical mean streak. I know him rather well after so many years together. I knew I would be in for a spanking, that's a given. I was fairly certain it would be a pretty serious spanking. I also expected to be given lines. He thinks that writing something over and over will cause me to remember it longer. What I did not expect was that he is going to restrict my computer. He hasn't said when or what or for how long. All I recall is feeling shocked because we had an agreement that the computer is off limits unless the crime is computer related. I haven't asked his reasons for this, but I am pretty sure he is thinking to eliminate stress. (If he wants to eliminate 'stress', he could ask the people across the street to move!!!! Searching AGAIN for a lost six year old in my slippers and bathrobe is pretty darn stressful!!!) I am pretty sure it will create stress and aniety if he takes away my email. I work online. I need to stay in touch with people. We'll have to talk, but when it comes down to it, it will be as he says. He also is doing his best to make this spanking and any that comes after as awful for me as possible. I am not a meek and mild person. Tell me to get in place for a spanking, I will argue. Tell me to bare, I will argue that, too. PRIDE is involved. He is going to make me ask... and having been there a couple of times, he knows that nearly any punishment spanks with a 'wooden paddle' will be multiplied until I finally have no choice but finally give in and count them,.. I can easily turn ten into a hundred by letting my pride get the best of me. If that isn't enough, he is making it a rule I have to either exercise or walk daily... no excuses unless approved by him.

I said I wanted his help, didn't I? So, if there aren't any posts here for a while, y'all can blame Lar....

Joannie

A Silly Dream

I have a vivid imagination, which is great for a writer, but terrible when I am trying to sleep. I have crazy dreams all the time, so you would think I would be used to the silliness, but every so often I dream something and wake up sad that it wasn't true. I've heard other women talk of being pregnant in their dreams, or of having a baby, only to wake up and feel as though a part of them is missing. So, last night, I dreamed I was pregnant... and the dream was pretty realistic, considering the fact I am 59, and it has been medically impossible to have a child since I had a hysterectomy at age 34. The doctors were marveling at that, but our main concern was the allergic reaction I was having to something. My ob/gyn came out of retirement to deliver this baby, since I refused to consider anyone else, and then he decided I needed to go to a specialist because of the hives. I didn't want to do that, of course... Stubborn even in my sleep, I am. WEG But, Lar insisted, and we all know where that was headed... So, he took me to a prominent hospital, and my doctor walked out to see me and said, "I forgot that I am a specialist now..." LOL Oh well, I woke up grinning, and still pregnant, at least in my dreams.

Nothing else of much interest going on here. No DD reports to make unless I mention the all day spanking of Saturday... and that was just us pretending to be kids again and having fun. WEG

Joannie

Big Babies and Poor Sports

I don't know anything about football, and I don't really care to know. My SIL was supposed to play in a fantasy football league, but decided he didn't want to after the teams were picked. My brother said, "Will you fill in, Jo?" Like a silly girl, I said, "Sure." Now, winning is not important to me. I am the only female in the league, and all the guys, including my Lar, love and understand football. I've always thought that big men chasing a ball and knocking everyone down in the process just plain silly. But, if others want to do that, or watch others doing that... okay. After reminding my brother not to expect too much I set out to learn the software. Wasn't too difficult. Figuring out who I should play out of all those guys wasn't so simple. Seems that my husband and my brother Paul both seemed to think I needed 'help' and 'protecting' from the other 'sharks' in the league. Now, I wanted to play MY way, which was, "I like this guy's name..." Or "I have a feeling this dude is going to do great this week." No, both the superior males feel that something called strategy and statistics is more important than whether or not I like the guy's name. I also wanted to get rid of one player. I took an immediate dislike to him. You would have thought I told them I was going to shoot Santa Claus!!!! (Well, I am not particularly obedient, now am I??? I got rid of the guy, and too bad so sad....) So, okay, I haven't done horrible. Better than I expected... The hardest week for me was the week I played Lar. Now, the man didn't want to tromp me, and since I have the advantage of knowing his mother raised him with weirdness, I knew he would cheat to lose. I cheated to lose better than him and he won, which he should have done, according to the damn statistics he is so keen on when it suits him. WEG He sputtered a lot and I got evil looks, but I was delighted to best him in the losing department. I doubt we will have to play each other again... THEN we have the poor sports and big babies of the league. Now, picture me rolling my eyes. My Lar is not a mean or hateful person. One of the guys on the team was 'legally' cheating. Lar pointed it out. Paul warned the man in a friendly way, which only encouraged him to keep taking players and putting them on waivers so the rest of the managers couldn't choose the better players when they needed someone for a bye week. (Yes, I sound like I know what the hell I just said, right??? Don't be fooled... I am repeating words...) Another player spoke up, and Paul stepped in and anythime the 'cheater' did that, he took the player off waivers and made them into a free agent. Oh no, more hostility... The guy posted something really nasty to Lar. Lar, nice man that he is, crossed his arms over his chest and assumed his Dad's 'mulish' expression and said, "That is one ignorant S.O.B! I'm done with him... Unless he says something to you... then he is DEAD!" Now, I was flattered, really... even if trying not to smile. Like I can't out badmouth anyone on that board, and type it faster, too!!!! But, it is nice to know that Lar is willing to rip the man's tongue out if he speaks to me at all. Then, out of left field (oops, that is baseball, right? Another long story... but we won't get into that today.), another guy who is soooooo great at the smack talk, decides to quit because he got beat by someone he has decided is a loser... Now, I am still trying to figure this out. He claimed it wasn't fair that the other guy's team beat his team because he doesn't happen to personally like the guy???? Ummm, I thought the whole purpose was to win, right? So, he quit, and the best of all, my idiot brother, John, posts, "If M quit, so do I!" Boo hoo hoo!!! The REAL reason John quit... He was scheduled to be my next victim this week and he was too scared to get beat by his sister!!!! LOLOLOL He is going to get a trophy from me at the end of the season... the BIG BABY trophy. M gets the POOR SPORT trophy. I get the BEST LOSER trophy.... I am sure the rest of us can now enjoy some relative peace while playing out the rest of the season. Of course, y'all might want to cover your ears when I make another of my 'moves' and get rid of another player who is supposed to be good but messes up every time I play him.... Lar and Paul just don't get it when I do things they don't understand. WEG

On the DD side of things... I am up to 'three' now. I think I have shrunk a wee bit more, and I am having to move the car seat a notch or two closer to be able to reach the gas pedals. Lar has learned to check so he doesn't kill certain parts of his anatomy before getting into the car. Each time he tries to get in and the seat isn't back, he yells a number... and last night we hit 'three'. Of course I defended myself with, "This is my car... and I didn't know you were going to be driving it next. It is a waste of my time to put it back, get in again, and just have to pull it forward." He offered to take care of the three right then, but I reminded him he was hungry. We'll see. I'm not properly scared yet.

Joannie

Glass Slippers and Halloween Candy

My granddaughter does not have small, dainty feet. Nope, she is going to take after my Mama, the BigFoot of the family. WEG She is still only four years old, however, and four year old little girls like to play dress up and princess. They even have princess parties and wear their gowns and have a great time. Renee outgrew her 'glass slippers'. I looked around and saw some I thought might just fit her. The length would have been fine, but they weren't wide enough. She was so disappointed... and I felt terrible. I got online yet that night and typed in various things, looking for play heels for kids with big feet.... to no avail. Finally, in desperation, and hating myself thoroughly, I typed in 'pageant shoes for little girls'. BINGO. I suddenly had more dress-up shoes in her size than I thought existed. I found a pair that were reasonably priced. After all, these are for PLAY. The first time Nee wore them, the rubber part on the bottom of the acrylic heel came off. Okay, I fixed them, and she loves them. She's happy, I'm happy, but reallllllly, pageant shoes???? I don't want to offend anyone, but I can't see how pageants for little girls is anything more than pageants for mama's to play dress up the little girl. They should be playing and having fun making believe.
End of sermon...

Yes, I got into trouble. I was having a migraine and finally Lar added it all together and said, "Have you been eating the Halloween candy?" I didn't think I was overdoing it, but in all honesty, ANY candy is overdoing it. I always feel like such a doofus and tell myself it won't happen again. I can go for months at a time and not touch the first piece of candy, then I'll treat myself, and since that one didn't hurt me, I can have another, until I am wondering why I feel rotten. Embarrassing. This seems to be the one area I struggle most with.

Hope you are all having a gorgeous fall day. It is beautiful here, and promises ahead of a lovely weekend. Tomorrow evening is the annual banquet I will need to survive. Not looking forward to it... and praying the entertainment is musical...

Joannie

Scary

I am glad Halloween is over with. Now, I love trick or treating and all the fun stuff associated with Halloween, BUT... I don't like scary stuff. Even normal tv shows seem compelled to try and scare the you know what out of you during this time of year. I especially can't handle 'zombies'. I've been this way my entire life, and scary movies were OUT. In fact, Lar made it a rule that I not ever watch movies like the ones designed to scare NORMAL people. I'm not normal, so what scares other people, gives me nightmares... and even daymares!! So, trying to be 'safe', Lar turned on HGTV yesterday. What was on? Shows about scary houses... houses they used in scary movies. And other shows to show how to decorate scary. PLEASE, give me a break! Friday evening the normal shows we watch had a Halloween theme. I gave Lar a look and he said, "Damn. We're going to have fun tonight, aren't we?"

I was serious. "You aren't allowed to leave this room unless you take me with you."

"JoANN, this is just a stupid television show. It's not real."

"Like that makes a difference. You stay right here." Well, he did... but eventually he got to his feet. He was wanting to go to bed because he got up really early and he was tired. "You can't go to bed yet!"

"JoANN, I'm tired."

"Then wait a minute. I'll shut down."

He just looked at me, but he waited. There was no way I was ready to sleep, but I sure as heck wasn't staying out here alone, either. We both went to bed. "JoANN, I'm on the edge of the bed. Move over!"

"Not unless you move this way, too." He said some insulting things, but moved closer. I am very good at making sure he gets NO sleep when I am like this. He did his best to make sure I felt safe and snuggled. He actually had the nerve to go right to sleep!!!! I wasn't having that.

"Did you hear that?" I whispered loudly, poking him to make sure he heard me.

"Hear what?" He wasn't happy.

"That!"

"It's the door, woman. The fan is making it move."

"It's scary!" He sighed, got up, shut the door tight.

"There. Now go to sleep."

"I can't sleep. I'll dream."

"Then lie awake but let me get some sleep." I thought that was rude, but I figured I could wake him if necessary.

So, okay, a few minutes pass. He is snoring... rather loudly... It's also getting warm pinned under the blankets, but I am still shaking. It is much safer under the blankets! Lar's snoring is louder, and I keep telling myself that it is okay to go to sleep. I finally close my eyes and as I am almost asleep, this damn zombie makes a growly noise and I sit straight up! Grabbing Lar, of course. He is the resident zombie-fighter. "What!" he growls. "Was I snoring?"

"Yes, but I can't sleep because the second I do, I have bad dreams. I saw a zombie and he growled at me!"

"Next year the tv is going off for a week before Halloween," he muttered. "There are no zombies in this room, JoANN. You scared them away. Now go to sleep."

I scooted closer to him, and he muttered again about it being too hot... and I said, "Tough! I'm freezing to death!"

He said, "Well curl up under the covered wagon and go to sleep under your buffalo robes." (I know that no one but the two of us understand that, and I'm not going to explain. WEG) He was soon snoring again.

I laid there for at least another twenty minutes, and literally could not close my eyes. I said a few short expletives it was a good thing Lar wasn't awake to hear, and my temper kicked in. I decided to get up and come out here and read or write or listen to Christmas music. ANYTHING to get the zombies out of my head. I read until I fell asleep, then took myself back to bed, making darn sure to get close to Lar... just in case.

Halloween is over for another year, and it should be fairly easy to avoid the 'scary' for another year. I hope. Of course, there was that episode a couple of months ago. Paul and I were on a photo shoot and I made the mistake of flipping on the television in my room when I got into bed. It seemed a normal boy gets girl type movie at first... until the monster part started, and by then I had to know what was going to happen to them. A mistake... a gory big mistake. Give me a western any day of the week.

Nothing spanking or DD related to report unless I start talking about other people... and I'm not above doing that. WEG I was in Walmart the other day, minding my own business, and saw this husband walking behind his wife, casually swatting her butt with a paint stirrer every few steps. She wasn't too happy. They weren't carrying any paint, either. WEG

Joannie (Yes, this is the middle of the night. BUT, I went to bed right after we ate dinner and I slept for five hours... so I'm wide awake now. It's the zombies' fault!)

Just another typical day...

Today will be another busy day. The little ones get here around 7:30 this morning. Breakfast. If there is time, Gabe will practice his guitar before going to school. I am driving him instead of putting him on the bus today, and once he is delivered, it is time to take Renee to preschool. She has Halloween Treats to pass out to her 'friends'. Lar asked me to do his banking, so I will drive to his work, go to the credit union, and then to the grocery and IF there is time before picking up Renee, come home and put something in the crock pot for dinner tonight. Pick up Nee, drive to pick up my Mama, take them for a quick lunch in the car before taking Mom to the doctor. I will then pick up a plaque for next week's banquet for the special award we give each year... Mama home, and back to Gabe's school to pick him up. Home for a few minutes to verbally practice his guitar, and then in the car and off to guitar lessons. Home again, and hopefully the crock pot is full of chili for our quick dinner. Dress the kids into their Halloween costumes and do the finishing touchs unless Mommy and Daddy are here by then to take care of that. Hand out candy to all the ghosties, goblins, princesses, witches, super heroes, and the older kids who are sweet to bring around the younger ones for trick or treat... and then, when the porch lights go off at 8 o'clock, I might have a few minutes to sit down and rest a bit... unless my conscience forces me to clean the kitchen. LOL

DD wise... The past few days have taught me something important. It is one thing to know what you are thinking, but it is imperitive to communicate that to your HOH. I learned it is important to say the words, "I understand your feelings on this subject, and I accept your decision as HOH." Once I made that clear, Lar was able to focus on hearing me say that, "While I understand and accept your decision, honey, I can't flip a switch inside myself to turn off my feelings and emotions." Good lesson in communication. While Lar did not punish because he did not feel a punishment was warranted, he did deal effectively with the guilt and anger I was feeling toward myself. One more hurdle in this DD lifestyle handled, and now on to the next... but please to God, a day or two to breathe first. I'm a little bit busy today... WEG

If you have little ones trick or treating, please go with them and keep them safe. If you are passing out candy to the children, please sit outside and keep watch on your street. Make it a safe and fun night for the kids. AND, if this is bah humbug to you, please remember to drive safely. Kids don't always have responsible parents or grandparents to look after them, and those darn costumes make them all excited and they forget to look for cars, or they can't see with those darn masks. Please be careful....

Joannie